2

My heart thudded in my chest, skipping a series of heartbeats. I trembled trying to gulp down the lump in my throat . This is a bad idea, a very bad idea. The voices in my head collided. I peeked out of the window glancing at the clouds concealing the city of lakes. Unfathomable lakes, are so deep and hide so many secrets within them, I always tend to wonder what will happen if any of these days the lakes decide to stop being camouflaged of emotions and deep dark secrets which lie within them. They are Just like the people who stand on pedestals stashing their feelings aside in some dark part of their heart.

It will burst, swallowing everyone around them just like tsunamis. Isn't that the reason people like them, people like me lurk behind darkness.

I pierced the nail inside the palm of my right hand to stop the chain of thoughts rumouring my head. Stupid brain. It never stops with these trails of thoughts unless I inflict some sort of pain. Yeah, my mind is a sadist. I chuckled facing away from the window only to witness a pretty air hostess looking my way with confusion etching her face, she must be wondering what an absurd person I am. I smiled at her, squeezing myself into the seat with more sophistication.

"Fasten your seatbelt please, we are about to land in 5 minutes." The speaker was bombarded with a soft sound halting a different kind of excitement around me. I pulled the seatbelt around locking it.

That's it, we are about to land. I don't have to sit between these strangers anymore. I suck in sharp breath preparing myself for Udaipur. It's fine Ana, you just have to be there for Diya, you are just being a good friend.

Good, I chuckled sarcastically. I stopped playing being good many years ago. I don't crave anyone's validation anymore, I can still run away and forget about all this. But something inside me isn't letting me, there is some string tying me to this place. The string keeps tugging constantly nagging me to be close to something, close to someone.

I was raised in Bangalore, born too I guess. I spend half part of my miserable life running around the beach near the orphanage. So I don't know why I am feeling some kind of connection from Udaipur. Maybe my mom was from Udaipur. My eyes widen with the realisation, maybe I can find her here. But how? I don't even know if she is dead or alive, the last thing I remember about her are those dimples itching her face when she used to smile. That beautiful smile. My chest thudded with pain at the reminder of her, the only person who truly ever loved me, my mom.

I punched my heart rapidly to stop the anxiety racking all over my body. "You are not normal, Anaya." The voice of my school counsellor echoed in my head.  Not now, please. We can do this once we are alone but not right now. I begged my head to stop torturing me for some time.

"Mam, are you okay?" The lady who was eyeing me weirdly asked me with concern.

I rapidly blinked my eyes calming myself. "Oh yes, I am good." My voice quivered at the last word.

Good. I hate this fucking word.

"Are you sure mam, we have landed and you are still sitting?" She pointed outside where all the passengers were moving towards the airport. Holy hell.

"I am sorry, I was just thinking about the places I want to explore here." I laughed losing the tension around my shoulders.

"I understand." She smiled giving me the way for outside.

"Thanks..." My eyes trailed over the badge on her uniform. "Maya."

She smiled walking me outside the plane. "Have a nice time mam."

"It's Anaya, Maya." Her eyes widened and she giggled covering her mouth.

"Oh my god, our names rhyme together. Anaya and Maya, wow."

I beamed happily, saluting her. "Aye aye, captain. But you are air hostess, so aye aye air hostess." I grumbled laughing at myself. I am really stupid.

"Hell yes." Maya climbed down the stairs walking beside me. "Anaya if you want to visit some local places just ask me. I know Udaipur by heart, and here take my number." She pulled out her phone excitedly.

How do I tell her that I am not here for vacations but rather to play the role of pretty bride? I anxiously bite my lips, if I tell her no she will think I am rude and I don't have the heart to upset her. After thinking for eternity I passed down my number to her. "Thanks, Maya." I left the airport without getting involved in any further conversation. I need to reach Diya's house soon. The function is about to start and it will be easy for Diya's relative to recognise me. She told me she would tell her parents that I had broken my arm, so I could not attend her wedding. It's like she pre-planned everything from day one.

The bitter taste of resentment, fear and uneasiness left me as soon as the cold breeze of Udaipur caressed my face. It's so beautiful. Now I know why Diya used to be so thrilled about visiting her parents. My eyes twinkled gazing at the glowing sky with rosy sunset. Holy hell, it's so exquisite. Damn, Diya is so lucky. I want to live here too, but I love my beach and sea too much to leave them behind. I clutched my sea shell bracelet hard as the remainder of my home knocked me. I was being held captive by the reverting climate.

Unlike Bangalore, Udaipur is a city that seems plucked from the pages of a timeless epic. As the sun casts its last golden rays over the hills, the city's palaces and temples shimmer like dreams woven into reality. In the narrow streets of the old city, where echoes of history whisper through the labyrinthine alleys, one can almost hear the footsteps of bygone kings and queens. Udaipur would be depicted as a place where history and legend intertwine, where every street corner holds a story waiting to be discovered, and where the spirit of Rajasthan's rich cultural heritage is alive in every stone and every smile.

" Bhaesa khatte jana hai?" A man in his late fifties interrupted my view.

"Excuse me." My brows arched in confusion as he began to speak Marwari swiftly. I heard Diya talking to her parents many times but I never gave it much thought.

"I am sorry. I can't understand you but as far as I know, I guess you are asking me where I want to go. But please don't worry my friend is coming to pick me up." I politely nodded my head running away towards the bench near the exit.

Minutes turned into hours and there was still no sign of Diya. As the sun cascaded down, the hole in my stomach grew. How can Diya be so careless, at least she should have some decency to call and tell me she will be late. It's been three hours, three hours of pure torture. People are looking at me with their gaze full of pity. Holy hell, I am seriously strangling her this time. I tugged my sleeves down as the shiver ran down my body because of the cool breeze. I picked up my phone calling her for what felt like the hundredth time.

I swear to god, I will leave in five minutes if I don't see any sign of her.

Five minutes were over and my lazy ass was still glued to the bench. Fuck it, the rush of anger surged through my vein. As if god heard my grumbling, I saw Diya running towards me. I raised my eyebrows hinting her how pissed I am.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry Ana. I am so sorry." She rumbled a series of apologies hugging me, and in a split second, all the anger rushed down the drain. Was I so desperate to be loved that a mere hug could make me feel happy?

"It's fine Diya. But where were you."  I asked, my voice full of concern, but instead of answering she caressed my arm, placing her car keys in my hand.

"What?"

"Anaya, I am sorry. But I have to be somewhere and I can't take you home. You have to drive and Ahana will be there at the back door to pick you up, she will take you to my room without anyone noticing you. Can you do that Ana?" She begged her voice quivering and this time instead of any taunting glint in her eyes,  I saw a broken Diya. She is never sad. Worry climbed my heart squeezing it brutally.

"Diya, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes I am good. You just go to my house, I will be back in a bit."

"But how will you-." My voice trailed after her as she ran away from me, near a black car. Diya is hiding something from me. And I am adamant to find out. But for now, I need to reach her house. Ahana is waiting for me there, I can't make her wait or else everyone will notice her absence in the house.

The engine reverted and I drove away towards Diya's house carrying my hope, my heart and my sanity which I know won't come back with me when I will go back to Bangalore but only if knew how wicked my fate is then I would have added my heart and my hope in the list too.